


And I question who we are waiting for

by tigriswolf



Series: meme fics [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 21:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows what happens to the people whose hands are empty. They languish. They fall into depression.</p><p>Usually, they kill themselves. Dad knows that as well as Kurt does.</p><p>[A <i>soulmate's name is written on your hand</i> fic]</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I question who we are waiting for

**Author's Note:**

> Title: And I question who we are waiting for  
> Fandom: Glee  
> Disclaimer: not my characters; title from C. Day-Lewis  
> Warnings: AU; character death; implied violence  
> Pairings: Kurt/Blaine  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 600  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt:
> 
> I am madly in love with Kurt, especially in its worst moments ... so
> 
> Everyone is Born with the name of Their soulmate On Their hand
> 
> Kurt also, only... the owner of that name died (no matter as, only he's dead).
> 
> This can take many paths, Kurt would expect someone who never appeared, or could somehow know
> 
> I know it's confusing but that's the basic idea

In the beginning, when Kurt is very young, only the first letter of the first name is visible: _B_.

Mama and Kurt go through a dozen name books, Mama helping him sound out the hardest. Kurt says that it'll have to be Daddy's name, because he loves Daddy and he'll marry Daddy someday. Mama laughs and ruffles his hair, telling him that Daddy's already taken.

The day Mama dies, the rest of the letters fill in and _Blaine_ is written out across his palm.

In a few years, Dad will tell Kurt that he's known since Kurt was three. That’s five years longer than Kurt knew.

.

Starting the January Kurt is ten, the last name starts appearing, a letter a month. By August, the whole thing is there: _Anderson_. Middle names appearing are rare, but Kurt can’t help wishing it had, too.

Kurt checks all of the local schools’ yearbooks, of course. And he still keeps his hand firmly hidden from everyone.

.

When Kurt is thirteen and walking to class, deftly avoiding the bullies, he trips over nothing, gasps because he suddenly can’t breathe, and passes out. There isn’t a mark on him, no physical reason for what happened. The doctor at the ER tells Dad that it was a reaction to something that happened to his soulmate.

“But he’ll be okay?” Dad asks, and the doctor assures him Kurt will be fine.

.

In November of ninth grade, one night Dad works late, Kurt is watching Project Runway reruns when pain suddenly flares in his ribs. His legs. His stomach, his back, his arms. He can’t even get the breath to scream, and he can’t move, can only try to ride it out. Finally, the pain recedes, except for a burning on his right palm.

He turns over his hand and watches, tears falling, as each letter vanishes, until only the _B_ remains – and then his palm is empty.

His soulmate is dead.

.

Dad keeps Kurt home for the rest of the week. There’s mention of a gay bashing after a dance a few hours away; Dad quickly changes the channel, but Kurt goes to the internet.

Blaine Anderson died after a beating; his date, Marty Dyer, remains in critical condition. Charges are pending for the three boys who attacked them.

Blaine Anderson died at 9:17 pm. His name is no longer on Kurt’s palm. Kurt sobs himself to sleep for months.

.

Everyone knows what happens to the people whose hands are empty. They languish. They fall into depression.

Usually, they kill themselves. Dad knows that as well as Kurt does.

.

Somehow, the worst bully at school finds out Kurt no longer has a soulmate. Kurt hasn’t told anyone he’s gay, and nobody ever knew whose name Kurt had, but his tormenters take great delight in mocking him, taunting him, saying the worst possible things.

Kurt doesn’t even cry anymore.

And finally, in February, just after Valentine’s Day in Kurt’s freshman year, Dad can’t take it any longer. He sits Kurt down at the kitchen table and offers him a choice.

“We can move,” Dad says, “anywhere you want, kiddo. Or you can transfer. I found this school a couple hours away – they’ve got a no-bullying policy. It’s enforced, I checked.”

Kurt stares at the brochure Dad has, and then the information packet. He says faintly, “Can I think about it?”

Dad nods, and doesn’t bring it up again for a month.

But in March, bruises all down his back and limping, Kurt asks Dad, “ _Please_ , can we get _out_ of this town?”

“Okay,” Dad says, and they begin listing all the requirements for a new place to live.

.

In fifteen years, when Kurt is working his way up in the fashion industry, when he’s dating someone new every few months, when he’s trying so hard to be happy… he’ll sit down, sometimes, wherever he is, and he’ll trace a _B_ on his right palm. He’ll wonder about that boy. He’ll imagine all the lives they could’ve had.

Most people whose hands are empty suicide.

Kurt never does.


End file.
